1. Do You
If you loved someone and it broke down and you’re trying to move on, the first thing to do is focus on yourself. Think about the way you want to be, your goals for the future, HOW you’re going to make yourself happy.
When I was trying to get over someone this year it felt like it would never happen. Of course you can take your few days to have a cry and feel sorry for yourself or if you’re me get off your head hammered. But after that you need to snap out of it and realise it’s over and the sooner you realise that the sooner you will be happy. I decided I was going to put all of my effort into work. I was going to earn loads of money, save up, move out and travel, which would hopefully make me happy. I’ve been doing that all Summer and I feel really proud for how hard I’ve worked and how far I’ve come.
2. Chill with the lads/girls
Your mates love you and they don’t want to see you sad over some bastard/bitch. You should have a rule that yous never mention their name in convo. Chill out, go cruising, go on a night out, do anything that takes your mind off what you’re feeling because you’ll soon realise 2 hours has passed and you haven’t thought about them once. Do not isolate yourself and listen to achy breaky love songs… trust me..it won’t help.
3. Delete and Block it all
Those photos you have on your phone are no good to you now, they will only make you sad/pissed off. Delete them all so you don’t have to see them ever again. Block your ex on everything, because we all know you be checking their whatsapp last seen like there’s no tomorrow wondering who they’re texting, why are they online, and worst of all sending drunk texts that don’t fucking delete from the convo. Block all that shit, you don’t need the stress of that. Out of sight, out of mind.
4. “I miss you”
This WILL happen. No matter what they did.. It will suddenly hit you that you miss them. You will want to text or ring them and hear their voice or have a chat, maybe try work things out?
This is because at one point you did love them but you miss what you HAD. Most of the time you do not miss THEM. You hear a song, or see something that reminds you of them and you’re hit with a PANG. When this happens think about the bad things, why it broke down in the first place.. How annoying they can be.. How they never shut the fuck up.. How mean they can be.. How THEY haven’t text/called you once..Whatever it is about them that you don’t like, fucking focus on that shit and make sure it’s all you think about when they unfortunately come into your head. Remember that they’re not missing you.
5. Get with someone else
This is selfish but I believe it has to happen. You need the attention and you need to know you still got it. Go out and talk to someone you like, and be with them. It can just be a one night thing, no strings attached but being with someone else will make you feel better in the long run. You realise you can have other people and that down the line there will be somebody else for you. And if nothing else, it’s sex so end of argument haha.
6. Give it enough time
Getting over someone you really loved is never going to be an easy or quick process. I seriously think it’s one of the hardest things to go through in life but if you give yourself enough time and enough space away from that person you should feel your heart slowly mending itself and after awhile you feel a lot stronger than you did when it first happened.
7. Realise what you’re worth
Now I’m pretty sure you are all wonderful people but unfortunately not many people give themselves the credit. You need to value yourself and recognise that you need to be treated WELL. Nobody deserves to be treated badly and you should never let anyone do that to you. Gain back your confidence and learn to love yourself. Which is a VERY hard thing to do for some people, including myself, but once you do…you find happiness. Write down one thing you like about yourself everyday until you have a long list. Once you feel good about yourself you will feel positive about YOUR future and not dwell in the past.
8. Keep Busy
After these 7 things a few weeks maybe months should have passed, and through doing these things you should encounter new people and new things. So all of a sudden you realise that you haven’t thought about them all day. You don’t even care who they’re texting or what they’re up to because you’re busy with YOUR life. You’re on your way to achieving your goals whatever they may be and you might even like someone else who’s making you forget about them completely. For the first time in a long time you know you’re going to be okay.. which means you’re well on the road to happiness.
It took me a long time to get through these steps especially since I have BPD and when I love someone I reaaaally love them and when it ends it can feel like my whole world is falling apart and there’s no point in even being here. It can get very bad. But I’ve changed my mindset and literally forced myself out of bed so many times so that I can go out and better myself. A few months down the line I’m finally happy, I’m seeing someone I really really like and care about, (She loves me 😉), and I’m working hard towards my goals.
You deserve to be happy and if you’re going through a break up I feel for you. But don’t stay at the pity party too long because the rest of your life is waiting and life is extremely short. Try spend it happy.
Thanks for reading I hope it helps someone.