Go fuck yourself

If you’ve ever taken my friendship for granted Go fuck yourself

If you’ve ever tried to hurt me and break me down Go fuck yourself 

If you’ve ever used personal shit I told you, in a fight against me Go fuck yourself 

If you’ve ever gone out of your way to make me feel stupid Go fuck yourself 

If you’ve ever ruined my good humour because of starting a fight with me Go fuck yourself 

If you’ve ever cheated on me Go fuck yourself x2

If you’ve ever spread a rumour about me Go fuck yourself 

If you’ve ever told me that I wouldn’t do anything with my life Go fuck yourself 

If you’ve ever looked down on me and thought YOU were better than me? Then guess what? Go fuck yourself 

If you’ve ever manipulated me to get what you wanted Go fuck yourself 

If you’ve ever put me in such a bad place ..that I was thinking suicide was a good/only solution Go fuck yourself 

If you ever slagged me for being slow and “retarded” just because I was a little different to the rest of you Go fuck yourself 

If you’ve ever slagged mental illness and thought it was funny Go fuck yourself 

If you’ve ever laughed at someone and made them feel small for being different to what YOU are like then you can Go fuck yourself

If you’ve ever made someone feel like it’s not okay to be who they really are …straight, gay, bisexual, asexual, trans, then please just realise that you are ruining someone’s one shot at life and happiness because of how small YOUR mind is…and simply Go fuck yourself for that. 

If you’ve ever mouthed about my family, know that people that say the most know the least sooooooo Go fuck yourself

  
If you’ve ever made me feel like I am nothing. I am not worth the shit on the ground, I am not even deserving of life. Then I have some helpful advice for you, sit down, clear your head, and think about what has made you like this? Since when did you think it was okay to make someone feel like they don’t even deserve to be alive? Or want to be alive? What gives you the right to do that? Are you happy doing that? Do you feel powerful having that control? Do you think it’s funny? And if the answer is yes then YOU can Go fuck yourself. 


Bullies are everywhere, in your childhood, in your adult life, in work, even in your family sometimes, in your own friendship circle, and just in society as a whole. They get kicks out of making other people feeling like shit because they’re pretty hollow inside and they need something to do. The point is, they’re always going to be horrible people unless they cop on and change, but it’s not your fault they have a problem with you. You just need to keep being a good person and don’t let them make you cold and bitter. For every bully there is a genuine person willing to help you feel better, so listen to them and not the abuse because really..they can all go fuck themselves.
This is personal to me but a message that anyone that take and adapt to their own life. Give those lowlifes the two fingers, and continue on keeping your head up and treat people how you want to be treated!! 
Peace ! 

Lights Out

Insomnia starts creeping back in
3am..4am..5
Waves of pressure mount on your shoulders
Drowning in disappointment
Your mind is a prison cell
A lifetime without parole
Old friends rear their ugly head
Weed and alcohol offer the escape
You feel yourself falling under
You feel yourself getting weaker
You feel them getting stronger
The battle each day gets harder and harder

Alone in the way you think
Alone in the way you do things
Alone in the way you feel

The world is cruel
That much is true
It’s been a good show
Now feeling this low you know
That all good things come to an end
No way to to heal, no way to mend,
It’s a permanent mental battle that you know you’re going to lose
From the rattle to the grave
Is there any way of being saved?
Your brains scarred
It will never be the same again..
Your destiny is to feel this beautiful kind of pain

Being alone is dangerous.
Being alone with your thoughts is worse.

The sun rises across the sky, looking beautiful looking hopeful .. But just like your soul..how long does it take to turn dark again? For the lights to go out?

Sunrise In Dublin on 23rd November 2015 at 8am.

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Leech on Society

“Dean, young lads like you don’t amount to anything, they sponge off the government and are nothing but leeches on society”.

Nice, encouraging words eh?

This was said to me after class when I was 16 years old by my English teacher.

She was an absolute bitch of a woman and about 100 years past retirement age, she smelt like cats and she had a bark on her that could make my balls jump back inside my body. She was a decrepit hag who thought she knew it all and she absolutely hated me. I will say one thing though… She had a point.

I was terrible at English, I could talk for Ireland but when it came to writing it went really downhill. I’m dyslexic and I was pretty bad at stringing sentences together. I hated poems and the old English stuff so I didn’t try. I didn’t do my homework because she always said it wasn’t good enough anyway so I just dossed and wasted my time. She kicked me out or gave me detention most days and then she completely gave up on me. I don’t blame her. At the time when she said those words to me they completely flew over my head, being honest, I didn’t give a fuck. I was 16, arrogant and immature. All I cared about was girls, football, and the lads. School was never ever a priority to me.

But that was nearly 7 years ago.. And out of all the things a teacher has said to me that has definitely struck something in me. At this point in time, I could see where she was coming from, she was taking a stereotypical approach because I came from a broken family and because I did badly in school she assumed I would end up on the dole for life/ a junkie / alcoholic etc with no positive future. That could have easily been the way. There’s been plenty of times where I have acted like a waster but that’s not who I am and there’s much more to my life and my future than that.

I’ve worked full time since I was 18 years old. When I’m at work I work hard. It motivates me because I’m earning money and I’m creating something new. I worked in carpentry and now this year I’ve started working in construction. This year is pushing me to my limits and I’m working harder than I ever have. I work 50-60 hours a week most weeks, which is tough but it’s exactly what I need. Hard work pays off.. And doing something that I love has certainly helped me see that. I want to travel the world and have nice things and do my ADULT life right since I made more than enough mistakes as a teenager. I want to have enough money so that money is never a worry. I have goals for my future and I am working extremely hard in every aspect of my life to achieve them. Not bad for a “leech on society” aye?

Encouragement and support from certain people has helped me enormously along the way. If people tell you something enough times you start to believe it. Don’t put down people’s dreams or abilities, encourage them to go after them.. Encourage them that they have the power to do whatever they want.
If someone told me I was good enough in school I would have tried harder, but I was a ‘bad student’ so therefore that could never change. Don’t encourage the bad cycle.

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Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all work and blood sweat and tears, I do dibble dabble in the good stuff at the weekend and wot not.. So maybe you don’t completely change hahah 😉
But that’s okay because everyone is unique and everyone has a worthwhile life that they can do anything they want with. I just think it’s sad that people on the dole will never know the satisfaction you get from working hard to earn YOUR own money, it’s priceless.

I want to make something of myself and I never ever want to prove my English teacher right.

Never let someone tell you what you can and can’t do with your life.. And don’t let anyone tell you that you will never amount to anything or you’re not good enough because fuck them. They obviously don’t know you so show them how much they don’t know. Everyone has the ability to do great things.

So fuck my English teacher.. I’d love her to read this, because I didn’t grow up to be the mongo that she thought. I might still be a dope and not very good at analysing fucking Shakespeare but who gives a flying fuck about that when I have a good job, I’m making good money, and my English has seriously improved because of THIS blog? I love writing now, and reading ain’t bad either.
Hahah she’d die if she knew that.

So basically, don’t let one persons opinion define who you are. Your past, your parents past etc does NOT define YOUR future. The person you are at 16 is a million times different to the person you are at 22. People change and it can always be for the better. Remember that.

Leech on society my holeeeeeeeee

Laters xx